Everyone Has Something 2 Say
Ever find yourself surrounded by other mothers who love giving advice on how to raise a kid? You know the ones who always seem to know the answer to every situation you bring up? Well sweet teas, I know too many of them. Especially from the ones who has older children and has seen a breakup or two with the father of their kid(s). Although sometimes their advice can come in handy, other times it can become annoying. So annoying you sometimes find yourself not mentioning anything at all about your kid(s) or the father.
Now you ever find yourself getting advice from your mother, aunts , grandparents and the whole family tree? This includes the co-parent side of the family. I think we all been there. Especially with the first kid. I am on my second kid and still get what I sometimes call unwanted advice. Again it can be useful but then it can be annoying.
I know the first thing mothers tend to do is go on the defense. This is understandable. This was me with the first kid but by the second kid…( i’m pretty sure I sound like those luv diaper commercial)…I was able to nod my head to agree just to avoid any further discussion on how i’m raising my kids. The thing is that everyone thinks they have the answer but can’t seem to understand that everyone raises their child different. For example: your grandmother raised your mother different from how your mother raised you and most likely you are raising your child different as well. We are adapting to the ever changing times. Cellphones and the internet wasn’t invented or a big deal back then. Things that they have went through we are fortunate not to experience.
Make no mistake there are somethings I learned from my mother that I am teaching my kids. There is nothing wrong with figuring things out on your own. That’s how we learn from our mistakes and grow but again nothing wrong with taking some friendly advice either. Not everyone is right and not every advice is going to work for your child. Both my kids are opposites from each other. I notice I would threaten to take my oldest tablet from him and the tears start to follow but with toddler…well… he like to challenge me. Every kid is different.
I also learned I had to stop talking everything people say to the heart. I was quick with a response when it came to anything about my kids. They’re a few categories I place advice giving people in:
Old and Wise- for the older mothers like your grandmother, mother, great aunt etc
Bitter Boo- for the ones who lives aren’t together but loves to give advice on yours
Good Intentions- for the ones who mean no harm
Dr in their past time- you know the ones who always has a medical solution for whats wrong with your child
Childless adviser- for the ones with no children but has all the advice in the world to give you. Not just on your child but also on your relationship and family life.
I’m pretty sure you guys have someone for each one.
My best advice….be careful who you listen to and know at the end of the day its your child. As a mother you know your child best. Again just do what I do agree to what they are saying, nod your head, tell them you will try whatever they are suggesting and try to deflect the conversation on something else.
It’s ok moms…we all go through similar situations just keep in mind their advice is just suggestions. Nothing is set in stone so try not to take it to heart.