We all know co-parenting is hard especially when its with someone you really don't want to co-parent with. I have so much to say on this topic. The good, the bad and the rewarding. Yes I said rewarding. Everyone has an opinion on how to handle the other parent. Most go by feelings and when I say feelings I mean the ones that are to bitter to move on. Others had to deal with one time hook-ups that resulted in a child being made and then their are people like me who was able to have a pretty good relationship with the other parent. Every case is different.
Whether you have one kid or five, raising a child is no easy feet. We all know that and doing it on your own isn't so awesome at times. Trust me the pressure of coming through and making things happen for your kids is over-whelming. Sometimes you might feel like no one understands and you have no one to confine in that also understands. I'm not talking about your long time girlfriend or your co-worker. I mean someone who knows the feeling of a child saying 'MOMMY" every two minutes or the feeling of not eating that day because you made your child ate first. What about finding yourself in between jobs because of babysitting issues or work hours that was in the way of dropping off and picking up your child from daycare or my favorite taking a lower paying job or re-locating so you can be home more with the kids. Well I been there. Not everyone is so lucky to find a job that works around there child schedule. Whether you are a single mother or a single father I applaud all of you out there for the day to day struggle of putting your kids first.
While dealing with your day to day, most of us have to deal with the other parent who help bring your child/children to life. We all had that moment where you look at this person and ask yourself "what the hell was I thinking". Sometimes it can feel more like a chore then a partnership. Especially when they have another child/children by someone else. You maybe have caught yourself thinking if your their parent. Sometimes you have to pay attention to the warning signs...smh! But that's another topic for another day.
For most of us this might all be true but for others co-parenting is actually works for them. I myself is in the middle. I struggle with work, kids and life itself but I also have a good relationship with my co-partner. He actually does a good amount for our kids such as doctor appointments, school events, clothes, shoes and even gives me a money every two weeks without me having to go to court for it. Make no mistake, this was not always like this. it took us almost three years to get here. Not only did we have to work on communicating better but we also had to work on ourselves as individuals. Sometimes we want to blame the other person for the fallout but never want to admit that sometimes we need to share the blame. In my opinion of course. Now this is not the case for everybody. Some are just hard to deal with.
I had to learn and accept my faults as a person and then I took a step back and realize that my insecurities and doubts played a part. Also the fact that I accepted and allowed things that I shouldn't of to happen. Again that's another story for another day. We both had a hand in the fallout between us but now that we have a better partnership as I call it, we can do family things without it being uncomfortable.
There are five rules we go by:
Be Honest...even if it hurts because what's the point of lying
Do Family Outings...because its about the kids not you guys
Don't expect the other parent to do everything...always have a plan B
Have Boundaries...especially if the other parent is with someone else
What are other co-parenting ways you and your co-partner have found that works and don't work for you guys?