I love the idea of family time. Everything about it just seems so enjoyable. Playing with the kids, laughing and enjoying the other parent space. Sounds good right? Well imagine it with your ex. Yup! the one who helped make those beautiful kids of yours.
That's how it is for me and the father of my kids. We actually do a lot of family time together big and small. Just recently we had a family day to Lego world. We then had dinner and a movie. It was an enjoyable day. When it comes to spending time together with the kids, its no problem for us. We agreed that no matter what we will remain civil. I truly believe that kids benefit from seeing both their parents getting along. We tend to forget that kids can pick up on certain situations and as parents we display behaviors that are not suitable for children to witness. Kids can have a curse word on repeat so we know they can also display behaviors we don't like either. Some that reminds you of your ex. Now I must admit I myself forget. I would curse by mistake or out of frustration or anger at their father in front of them. Hey I'm not perfect but that doesn't mean I cant be cordial with their dad.
Now I am not saying go to every event together. You don't have to be at his mothers barbecue party or his sisters birthday celebration and in return remembering that they don't have to either. Now if it has something to do with the kids like school plays or basketball games then that's a must. Letting a child see this type of behavior might help him handle relationships different. This goes for same-sex parents as well. Being a parent is hard enough. Trying to be cordial with the co-parent is on another level of your maturity but it can be done.
Here are ways I am able to enjoy family day:
1. Keep certain topics off limits like talking about his new girlfriend
2. Check your feelings at the door...its not about you guys. You're there for the kids
3. Don't under mind the other parent of front of the child
4. Show respect to each other out in public. No flirting with others or spending to much time on your phone even the way you address each other is also important.
If this doesn't work for you, tell me what other ways do you do that allows you to enjoy a nice family outing that wont result in one of you in jail? ….just kidding! but I'm I ?